Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Dangers of The Green Eyed Monster.


Human nature means that as a species we are a little flawed & sometimes for no reason things can piss you off or upset you with very little warning, but I often think that one of the worst traits & at times most dangerous is our fantastic abilities for jealousy. 

I have no doubts it has potential to in some occasions provide positives; fuel things, add motivation & perhaps even at times add clarity but it can also do anything but & be fantastically destructive & that is what I have randomly been thinking about lately. 

With the fantastic world of technology & social media we do live quite a transparent life & with that it is definitely easier to lust after things & find that your morning ritual of coffee, cigarette & Instagram scrolling has led to your day beginning with just a hint of the green. Let's be honest who didn't see Coachella pictures & find they were wishing they were part of it, or seen figures that they are envious of (I know I'd regularly like some extra inches in height) but what about closer to home? The people who you actually know, have contact with & are, in one way, shape or form, part of your daily life? Where does the green fit in there & potentially impact?

I know that I personally very much am guilty of at times finding jealousy & weird pangs of longing crop up into my life & if not careful I cannot deny that I have at times resented certain people for their seemingly idyllic lives & how everything appears 'gifted' to them. This is probably far from the reality but don't we all have those moments & I think it's dangerous, or has the potential to be. 

What good can come from allowing resentment & with it a weird complacency for your own life into your energy? 

Yes another engagement has occurred, you have weddings to attend when your invite included no plus one option, people have better skin, or jobs, get the kisses at bedtime or laugh more freely - in your perspective. There is another baby scan picture somewhere on one of your social media based connections & oh how lovely, someones new boyfriend has surprised them with yet more flowers & suddenly your brain is pissed at them, or deeply saddened, or you don't see the point. I'm just not sure that can be all that healthy. I get lusting after fantastic dress sense, an incredibly ability with make up, holidays that look just fantastic & I am all for having a hint of the green in your life for the incredible talents people have, as long as you can still appreciate their talents & hard work within what they do. 

It's the risk of utter despondency that I think the green monster can lead to that worries me, what do you do with it? How do you prevent it from being the dangerous thing it has the potential to be? 

I have a theory, my own mind you, purely in relation to my life, my longings if you will, the things I know I covet in a harmless way & the things I let eat me. Basically it comes down to one thing, changing the resentment or weird heartbreak for what others have & making a conscious effort to go from complacency to motivation. That's it. 

I'm 30, which in itself has been known (since it occurred) to make me slightly panic & find myself wondering what the hell am I doing, or not doing as the case may be & I said that in whatever way 30 would be a good age year, for lessons to learn or similar & I do think bits of my brain have shifted. I definitely find myself asking "do I resent them just because I am jealous?" or "do I resent them because of who they are?" That last sentence I have been asking myself a lot & I find lately it's because I'm more aware of the negatives I've allowed in & of being taken for a ride or almost as a useful commodity, useful when they want me that is, but otherwise not. But the concept of the negatives in our lives, or in mine, is for an entirely different post. 

With questions like that aside I very much have little desire to become a breeding ground for vibes that attract more of the same & less of the good, that includes jealousy & my approach to it. I'm not magically never going to be jealous or at times have yearnings & resentments but I can do something with it, that is in my power. So instead of complacency then damn well do something with it. If you want to have more adventures, maybe start small, do things that scare you, or save up & go to that random festival in Europe. Apply for jobs you want but might not get, get hobbies, become more of the person that you eventually want to be, in whatever way you can in this point begin to do it.

I have a friend who is a firm believer in putting vibes of what you want out into the world & the cosmos & in some way or another the world can return things, if they are the right things & so perhaps she may have a little bit of a good idea with that; so why just absorb & allow the negative sides of jealousy to come in & swamp you? Maybe just maybe be cautious, be mindful & use it to ask yourself the question of why? 

So under the heading of dive in balls deep I have a list of negatives to address, changes to make & that is very much spurred on by frequent visits from that little green eyed monster we have all come to know. 

How do you deal with jealousy & envy? Do you experience it? Not just from the lust worthy pictures on Instagram or similar, but the 'real' people in your every day.   

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